


Alone Together.

by reedus



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alone Together, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Dependent on each other, Depression, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Schizophrenia, Suicide Attempt, college student!dean, drop out!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:34:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reedus/pseuds/reedus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Milton is a schizophrenic patient in a mental institution. He has been abandoned by his family and left to deal with his mental illness alone. That is until a college student, who tried to commit suicide, shows up at the hospital. A college student by the name of Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inner Workings of My Mind.

 15th March 2013.

 

 

 

 

Castiel Milton once lay in his bed, twisting and turning with unease and nightmares. The nightmares were getting more and more common these days, if he could sleep. Some nights he would lie in his bed watching the shadows created by headlights of cars dance on the ceiling and walls of his room. But most nights he couldn't even concentrate on the lights because all around him was on fire or a woman was sunken eyes and hollow cheek bones was screaming a banshee's scream in his ear.

 One night, a lone woman, dressed in a German World War II medical uniform stood at the end of his bed, whispering "Cassy. Cassy." over and over again until Castiel no longer noticed it. That was the first time he saw that woman, the beautiful woman with blood oozing from her left temple, running down her cheek and dripping onto her uniform. The second time he saw her was during his World History lecture; she stood on the platform behind the professor, and started to loudly proclaim that Castiel was "worthless" and that "nobody wants him here." Castiel had enough of crazy WWII medical woman, so he packed up his books and pens and stormed out of the lecturing hall.

 That's when things started to get worse and worse for Castiel. He lived alone in a small apartment near the college, but after he dropped out of college and lost his job because he didn't show up for a week, he got evicted from the place he was starting to call home. He moved back in with his parents, who lived in the countryside of Virginia; it was isolated and his parents were full of questions, like "Did you not sleep well last night Cassy?" when he stumbled down to breakfast with black circles and bags under his eyes. They were becoming a normal part of his appearance now. 

  
 _"Castiel... Castiel... Cassy... Oh, Cassy. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me."_ The WWII medical woman whispered to him one morning at breakfast. That was the morning that everything changed for him. He was sitting at the dining table, his mother was making pancakes for him and his brother, Gabriel, who was coming over for breakfast, and she making scrambled eggs and toasting brown bread for Castiel's father and younger sister, Anna. Castiel had slept two hours in total that night, a surprising improvement compared to the night before. His mother set the food on the table as Gabriel walked into the kitchen. Castiel hadn't heard his car pull up, the WWII woman was singing Lili Marleen directly into Castiel's ear. 

  Gabriel slapped a hand onto Castiel's back, talking happily to his parents and siblings. "Cassy," Gabriel said sitting beside him. "How's things going with you? Haven't seen you in weeks, hell probably months! Anything to share with the family? A new girlfriend perhaps?!" Gabriel nudged Castiel with his elbow. 

 "Nein." Castiel said shoving a forkful of pancake in his mouth. "Warum zum teufel sollte jemand mit mir gehen?" Castiel's family stared at him, surprised at the fact that Castiel could speak German well with a perfect accent seeing how he took Spanish in high school. He looked dead straight into his sister's eyes and dropped his fork onto the ground. Quietly he began to sing along with the German woman. "Bei der Kaserne, vor dem grossen Tor steht 'ne Laterne und steht sie nach davor, da wollen wir uns wiedersehen, bei der Laterne wollen wir stehen, wie einst Lili Marlen." 

 "Mom," Anna whispered as Castiel's singing got louder. Gabriel reached his hand out to calm Castiel down but Castiel jumped from his seat and knocked Gabriel's chair out from under him. Gabriel hit his head on the impact with the floor and thought he was seeing things as Castiel straddled him and starting speaking German while frantic tears ran down his cheeks. Castiel grabbed Gabriel's shirt, and pulled him up so they were eye to eye. "Help me." Castiel whispered before their father pulled him off his older brother. 

 "Cassy, what's wrong?! What's happening to you?!" His father yelled, shaking Castiel by his shoulders.

 Castiel's breathing was fast and shallow, making him dizzy. "Um es zu stoppen. Make it stop." Unexpectedly Castiel went limp and collapsed on the kitchen floor.

 ***

It was so bright when Castiel opened his eyes. There was someone standing over him on his right side, the person was talking to someone else on his left side. Whatever he was in was moving, rather quickly too. There was something on his face, from his chin to the bridge of his nose, which he clawed at for a moment before someone moved his hand away. They were talking to him now, but he couldn't hear the person, his head was fuzzy and everything other the movement underneath him was slow. Before long he shut his eyes again. 

***

 Castiel jolted awake, sitting upright in the bed. There was a person with long wavy black hair standing at the end of the bed in a nurse's uniform holding a folder, who was now staring at Castiel. "It's good to see you're awake, Clarence." She said to him. "I'm just going to get Dr. Singer. I'll be right back." She wrote something down in the folder and exited the room. She soon returned with a middle aged man in tow. 

 "Afternoon, Castiel." The man said. "I'm Dr. Robert Singer, and I'll be taking care of you while you are here along with Nurse Masters. Do you have any questions son?"

 Castiel nodded, "Uh yeah. Where am I?"

 Dr. Singer smiled sadly, patting Castiel's leg. "You're in Western State Hospital, son. In Staunton. Your family admitted you and told us that things have changed for you in the past couple of months. Do you remember what happened before you were brought here?" 

 Running a hand over his face, Castiel nodded again. "German. Somehow I was speaking German." He sat back against the pillows. "Why did they bring me here? This is a mentally ill hospital, I'm fine! I don't need to be here." 

 Dr. Singer didn't say anything, only patted Castiel's leg again before leaving the room. Castiel looked at Nurse Masters in desperation. She shrugged, "Sorry Clarence, you're here for a reason and that reason is because you need to be." She half smiled before leaving Castiel and the WWII woman alone together. 


	2. So Dark and Foul, I Can't Disguise.

18th March 2014.

 

 

"Can you state your name, age and date of birth for the record please?" Dr. Singer asked, his hands hoovering over the keyboard of his desk computer. 

 

"Castiel Milton, 15th June 1991. I'm 23 years of age." Castiel said staring at his hands. Dr. Singer nodded, typing on the keyboard. His office was like what one would expect of a doctor who worked in a hospital for the mentally ill; dark wooden furniture, floor to ceiling book shelves which where full of books on anything and everything, framed prove that he was doctor that hung on the walls, cabinets full of files about the patients and pictures of his family on his obnoxiously large oak desk.

 

"Well, Castiel, I have observed you during the past few days and I have questioned those you are closest to you also. I think the best way to help you get better is to give you an idea of what you are dealing with. Firstly though, I want you to explain to me what's been happening to you these past few months, or even a longer time span." Dr. Singer laced his fingers together under his chin, leaning forward to peer at Castiel. 

 

Castiel rubbed his hands together, "Well, uh, I don't really know. I haven't been sleeping much, and I had to drop out of college and move back home.. It's been pretty shit I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes, I don't know, I black out for a while, maybe a few minutes, maybe more. It just happens. And then there's this woman... She's dressed in a medic uniform from World War I, it's really weird y'know, she just stands there and wails and cries and screams all the time. I mean all. the. time." 

 

Dr. Singer remained silent and still for what seemed like ten minutes but in reality it was less than one minute. Castiel picked at the armrest with his nails, a wave of nervousness washed over him. Finally, Dr. Singer spoke, "Castiel, how long as this been going on for?" 

 

Castiel shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, a few months I guess." He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more. "I just lost it, y'know like when I jumped my brother.. Obviously I didn't wanna hurt him, I don't know what came over me." 

 

"Okay," Dr. Singer said. "I think that you're going to have to be put on some medication, something pretty mild, for now. It's to help you sleep a bit better and it helps deal with  psychosis and bipolar." 

 

"What? Psychosis?! Bipolar?! I'm nether of those things, Jesus, I'm not crazy." 

 

"Exactly Castiel, you're not crazy. You just need help." 

 

"And being pumped up on meds is gonna do that?! They're not gonna help me!" Castiel run his hand over his face, covering his eyes with his hands and breathing heavily. In a monotone voice, Castiel begun whispering and mumbling something. Slowly it started to louder and clearer, now catching Dr. Singer's full attention. Dr. Singer leaned forward in his chair, his hands resting on the desk. 

 

"What is it Castiel?" He asked as Castiel suddenly whipped his hands away from his own face. 

 

Castiel's eyes were wide and frightened, but somehow threatening at the same time. "Something's happening. Mind destructing, agony inside of me. My pulse is raising. Mental torture, self destroyer. Can't ignore the paranoia. Something's happening. Mind destructing, agony inside of me. My pulse is raising. Mental torture, self destroyer. Can't ignore the paranoia. Something's happening. Mind destructing, agony inside of me. My pulse is raising. Mental torture, self destroyer. Can't ignore the paranoia."   
  


And then, Castiel collapsed into sub-consciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so sorry for taking so long with this shit chapter! Please tell me if you like/hate this and if I should change anything. And just to let you know that Cas' blackouts are a major part of his illness, I'm not just doing it to end chapters. Thanks for reading :)


	3. The Darkness In My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long; I've been really busy with school as I'm in my final year and I just haven't had the time I need.. Hopefully this chapter will make up for my shit! :)

24th March 2014.

 

 

Over all the colossal noise in the common room, the clearest sound for Castiel was the blood in his ears pulsing through each capillary and vein in his body, travelling to do its work somewhere else, somewhere where the blood is needed. Castiel felt like the blood in his body; he knew he needed to be somewhere else, instead of wasting time pretending to read in the common room and wish he didn't have to take three different pills three times a day, three pills that made him feel dizzy and like he was going to throw up after a few minutes of taking them; needless to say, whatever was in them worked quickly.

The sky was sunless, a grey blanket over the hospital, making the sadness that is spread throughout the ancient building even more gloomy. Castiel eventually lost interest in pretending to read. He finally takes a moment to observe the others around him, scattered throughout the room. His eyes scanned the dysfunctional group of unlucky people, those with clear signs of way they were locked away in unnatural and inhumane captivity. Castiel sighed, gathering his thoughts before returning his attention back to trying to read something Vladimir Nabokov had thoughtfully jotted down in his time of writing Pale Fire. His attention was finally fixated on the novel when someone cautiously lowered himself onto the seat opposite Castiel.  

"Nabokov huh?" A gruff voice asked softly . Castiel raised his eyes from the page, and to his shock and awe, was face to face with an angel. At least, that's what the young man looked like. Freckles kissed his nose and cheeks, like stars on the clearest night, his eyes were the colour of the brightest green leave on a summer's day, a shade of facial hair caressed his strong jawline, magnifying it more, which was hardly possible. Despite the unnatural colour of his eyes, they were saddened and looked like they've been through a lifetime of pain. Suddenly Castiel remembered that he had to breathe and answer the angels question. 

"Uh yeah," Castiel said turning the book over in his hands to get a proper look at the front cover. "You a fan?" He could feel his blood rush to his cheeks, and cursed himself for becoming embarrassed and flustered. 

"I suppose, I've read a few of his works, y'know for college and stuff." The other man shrugged, twisting the sleeves of his t-shirt in his hand, fumbling absentmindedly. The man laughed unexpectedly, "Not that college helped me, seeing where I am." Both men locked eyes, Castiel's heart racing faster than he hoped; _he can probably hear the fucking thing_ , he thought sarcastically. "So, why are you here?" 

Castiel furrowed his brow, "Why am I here?" The angel nodded and searched Castiel's face for an answer. "Uh, I don't know really.. I don't think anyone does." 

"What? Do you 'see dead people'?" He smirked, mocking the boy's voice from the Sixth Sense. 

Regrettably, Castiel nodded. "I think I do.. Well she's not alive anyway, not with that uniform. She's World War One I'd say. I don't know, I think I'm schizophrenic, they think I'm bipolar and have mild psychosis, not really sure to tell you the truth." 

The other man recoiled. "Shit. _Oh shit_. Fuck, I forgot that we're here, in the loony bin. Shit."

Castiel held up a hand, "Cool it, I don't care. I'm used to the bitch wailing all the time. Besides, it's nice to know I'm not the only one here who isn't passed completely insane yet. It's like everyone here has some freaky disease that wipes our human nature from us and replaces it with animal instinct." 

"You've been reading too much friend." The other man chuckled lightly. "I'm Dean by the way, Dean Winchester." Dean extended a hand for Castiel to shake. Castiel eagerly grasped it in his own. He was surprised his heart hadn't jumped out of his chest yet. 

"Castiel Milton." Castiel half-smiled. "Since you asked me, Dean," Castiel liked the way Dean's name rolled so easily off his tongue, liked how casually they spoke to each other, as if they've known each other all their lives, not only a few minutes. "Why are you here?" 

Dean stretched his arms out behind his head, flexing the muscles in his arms under the sleeves of his t-shirt and unintentionally pulling his t-shirt up his stomach. "Oh y'know, the usual. Dysfunctional family leads to disobedient child which leads to punishments which leads to self-hatred which leads to depression and alcoholism and I'm pretty sure ya can figure the rest out for yerself." 

Castiel felt a something tug at his heart, he finally noticed the purple and blue bruising around Dean's neck, the only sign of why he is committed to the hospital. Dean rubs his neck awkwardly under the gaze of Castiel's piercing blue eyes. Castiel offers him a sad smile, to which Dean returns a small smirk and fixes his attention on Castiel's eyes. 

"So, how long have ya been here Cas?" Dean wondered, giving Castiel a nickname, startling him slightly, which Dean picked up on. "What? Can I call ya Cas? Is that not what people call ya?"

Castiel shook his head, pondering on the nickname. "No, my family call me Cassy, but never Cas... I like Cas." Dean grinned widely, nodding slightly to himself.  "And I've been here for a while, I don't know," he shrugged. "Less than two weeks, more than one week, can't really remember." He thought back to twisting and turning in his bed at his family's home in the countryside, to waking up to the smell of his mother's cooking, to the last morning there, when he attacked Gabriel and made his sister cry. He shuddered inwardly at the thought of losing his mind like that and blacking out every time afterwards. Turning his attention back to Dean, Castiel asked, "How about you? How long have you been here?"  

Dean held up two fingers and grinned, "A blissful two days. It's like a holiday resort here, I'm telling ya, meals three times a day, fresh sheets on yer bed, what is it, every two days, a bunch of interesting characters waiting to caw their own or someone else's eyes out, hot staff. It's great here, I never wanna leave!" Both men laughed, the first time in weeks for Castiel. It felt good to laugh- it felt good that it was Dean who made him laugh.  

 

 

 

 


End file.
